I deployed with the Marines in Desert Storm, and with the Oregon Army National Guard in 2004. Today I train and work with veterans. A common image that I see on patches, hats, and so forth is an “infidel”. This is a response to the supposed jihadists in the two countries we’ve fought in recently, … Continue reading What do you stand for?
I drove to a state forest that I frequent. I needed to think. It had been an emotional weekend for me, some ups and downs, and the night before had been particularly long as I drove back to Oregon. We had broken up and then mended back together. It was my fault. I had been … Continue reading Into the woods
I’ve been lying on the couch, weeping my guts out. I am torn into pieces. Images of my life has been moving past my eyes and I’ve felt I’ve done nothing. I hurt. I curl into a ball from the blows. I cry. I get up and walk to my bag, pull out the .357 … Continue reading Cowardice
Yesterday’s emotion was a surprise. It also came on at the same time that I fell sick with a cold, no doubt from entering into this motel room where I’ve been for two days. Last night I thought I would drown in my own fluids. Before I went to bed, however, I drew a single … Continue reading Sowilo
I do not want to write this. I am greatly embarrassed for doing so, knowing that I am going to put online. But since I have, for the time being, deactivated Facebook, it is unlikely that anyone would find it and read it. So why do it? Because I have the smallest bit of hope. … Continue reading The Hermit
I quit running long marathons last year after having discovered Spartan Races. This, plus my love of CrossFit and I quit doing the many 10, 15, 20 mile runs I was always doing. In the nine months I’ve done very little pure exercise, spending most of my time in instructor duties. Easy to start making … Continue reading Running and trying not to die (or trying to live)
It’s been a long and eventful year. The last post, The Hanged Man, details what seems to be the ending of that year. But the message seemed clear… things sucked, but suck it up buttercup, endure it, and learn to see the gifts in the present situation. But truth be told, I was impatient in … Continue reading The Stag