Vanity… my favorite sin

As quoted by the devil in the movie “Devils Advocate”.

I got a tease today from a 31 year old woman for my profile at American Singles. I couldn’t email her back, as you must subscribe to the service to do so (and no money to subscribe) but I did tease her back. A tease is one of a few one liners that you can send to someone for free to express an interest. Unfortunately, communication is limited to just that. Her profile read “slim, athletic” and she rated appearance as I did (important) and I re-read my profile, describing myself as athletic and muscular.


Maybe when the stars are aligned and I eat 6 healty meals a day, go to the gym, lift weights and perform cardio on a regular basis. But lets be honest… I’ve turned soft. I’ve got a tire, I’ve lost a little of the muscle mass I had… I am not what one would describe as muscular or athletic in appearance. More like average. I can’t blame it all on diet though. Diet is important, as much as 80% of what you become is attributed to your diet. You can go the gym all day, every day, but if you don’t put the right stuff in the body… it can’t operate efficiently. Being as strapped on cash as I’ve been I’ve cut down drastically the amount of protein that I intake a day. I’d be surprised if the amount tops 15 or 20 grams a day, where I used to get between 150 and 200 grams a day. Cheap food seems to always have more than enough carbs and fats in it. But I’ve not felt like working out. I’ve found it hard to get up early in the morning, for many reasons, to go work out. One day it is a legitimate case of having only a few hours sleep, or another it is because I’ve got to allocate my time to finding a job, or I am a bit depressed, or it is too cold and rainy, or whatever the reason may be. There are millions of reasons.

There are no excuses.

I needed to go to the store for food and cat food. I have a whopping $17 to spend on everything until the next paycheck arrives. I had orginally intended to buy loads of ramen noodles and mac-n-cheese (they are selling the mac-n-cheese at four packs for a dollar). But instead I walked around and tried to buy for health. I even went into the produce aisle, and though I only left with carrots, I did go. I’m trying to turn my focus back to one of health instead of satisfying carb craves. My list includes four cans of tuna in water, cat food, carrots, ragu spaghetti sauce, bananas, refried beans (low fat vegetarian), corn tortillas, a dozen jumbo eggs. Grand total of $12.40. I have four dollars left! WOO HOO!

I ate a carrot. Good for your teeth (crunchy) and eyes (vitamins). I recognize that my choosing of food today was not based on a righteous healty mentality, but instead was sparked by vanity. But sometimes a person needs a variety of reasons to do something, even in those things that he loves. Freud wrote of the amazingly infinite ways that the Id changes the appearance of impulses to get by the defenses of the Ego or Ego-Ideal. Thoughts of validity of Freud aside, the human heart is equally as complex and susceptable to malleable appearances for reasons that may be different than we imagined. Whether or not Freud can be taken seriously is not the point here. He touched on something which is.

Time to go to work.


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