Late Saturday Night I get a phone call from the manager of a strip club a couple hours south of Eugene. He tells me of a travelling male stripper group that had some open nights. I jumped on the opportunity and set the ball rolling for the next weekend. After spending lots of hours and time, calling people, sending faxes to OLCC, getting things moving, I pulled the plug three nights before the show. I had come to realize that it was too soon, that I need time for advertising and setting up, scheduling, and so forth. It didn’t make good business sense to try and force something.

I’ve been working a lot of hours the last few weeks. I’ve also paid a LOT of freaking money on bills, geting my license/insurance, and all that jazz. I’ll check my blood pressure after the end of the month when I have $750 due and my projected income from now to then is only $650. It’s going to be interesting. But hey, life is still great… why?

Eliza. The woman is great. Tonight she came in wearing a short shirt that exposed her mid-section and some low riding jeans. My eyes were glued to her obliques. I had mentioned to her earlier in the night that I had thought of going to Mt Pisgah to watch the sunrise and she was interested in going with me. But then she left her cell phone at the club (she went out for a bachelorette party) and my cell phone is not working. It seems that Sprint’s “you bill payment is posted within 12 hours” is actually taking 26 hours (so far… still not working) and they shut my phone off, even though my payment was made Wed. Result of all this confusion? Eliza has no phone and my phone does not work. So we cannot communicate tonight. The good thing is that I made her a copy of my apartment key so she can come over any time.

Eliza has many wonderful qualities. One of them is her many connections between “unconnected ideas” (her words). I’ll lay on the bed and watch her, listening to her thoughts and stories and how she’ll go from one idea, one connection, one aspect or level of thought to another. She’ll do all of this in “plain language”, without technical words… but use words she does… in an aesthetic manner. Her speech often will have a poetic quality to it and as to “aesthetic”… she described her self to come (upon moving to Eastern Oregon for a few months) as a “wandering aesthetic”. How can I not fall in love with someone who describes herself in such language?

Beauty fills her. The intellectual sayings from her mind are filled with poetic coloring. Her body moves with a gliding grace. Her heart is filled with empathy and compassion. I cannot look at her, think of her, or be with her without feeling beauty. I cannot help but smile. She has cautioned me a few times, telling me that she is not perfect, that I am making her to be a glass house. If I am guilty of this I am not aware of it as I am too subjective to the occurence. However I’ll say this. I’ve spent many nights with her (something like 98%) since we started to see each other three weeks ago and I’ve gotten good, sound sleep. Spending hours together I do not feel drained, I do not crave to escape to a coffee shop for an hour alone. When I had the day to myself the other day I was okay, did not feel lost or anything, yet every now and then I’ll think of her. And when I am with her I enjoy her. Whether we are watching “Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood” (which I liked) or going to the DMV, I enjoy being with her for no real reason other than I am with her. I don’t mind rubbing her feet, enjoy kissing her, do not get worked up when she snores (I smile and will kiss her or rub her skin lovingly and she’ll usually stop snoring), can’t help but marvel at her physical form (I am positively NUTS over her perfect legs), and I enjoy listening to a story that she’s told me four times already. No… this is not simply “being comfortable” for that could simply mean being used to something or something that doesn’t necessarily irritate. But I am truly nuts for the woman, enjoy her smile, her touch, her words, her laugh, her scent, her kiss, her presence, her words (she is a great writer… much much much better than myself… I could learn a lot from her on crafting sentences), her outlook, her vitality… “her”.

It is now 4:00 am and I am getting a bit sleepy. I want to watch the sunrise… but I also want to sleep. HA! It’s been a long week. My sunrises will come. Tonight I think I’ll hang out here and see if perhaps Eliza comes here from the bachelorette party.


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