Tuesday night when I got off of work I had went out for a cup of coffee with a friend who was troubled and needed someone to talk to. This kept me later than expected… I was wanting to be a friend, but I was watching the clock as well for I wanted to get to Eliza soon! She was packing (had the night off to do so) for her four day trip to Hawaii. When I finally got there at around 4:00 am, we had time to take a shower together but couldn’t really do much more. I wanted to be on the road to Portland so she could catch her 10:00 flight. The trip up was nice and I enjoyed the simple pleasure of driving with her. We stopped by her grandmother’s in Corvalis. I was nervous about meeting her and wanted to make a good impression. When we got to the airport Eliza had a little difficulty getting through the security due to some batteries in her carry-on. She looked over the partition and gave me a wink and a smile. Several hours before I had predicted the time she would walk to her gate to within ten minutes and had harrassed her to keep us on time so that she would make her flight. She blew me some kisses, her way of telling me that I had been correct in my estimate in getting her to the airport two and a half hours away and taking a detour to another city and so forth.
Before I let her go through the security check however, we exchanged some small kisses. I was already missing her terribly and could feel my eyes welling up. What in the hell was this? Tears?!?!?! She was only going on a four day trip to Hawaii for chrissakes. I don’t understand why I was getting so emotional. Her smile and shining eyes caused my heart to flutter. When she went to her terminal I took a deep sigh and returned to my car. I sat in the car and sent her a text message on the phone telling her that I missed her. Then I took off toward Eugene. I was making good time but 3/4 of the way home the lack of leep caught up with me and I pulled into a rest stop and set my alarm for a 30 minute nap. When I awoke I continued my drive toward home. 34 miles north of Eugene Eliza calls me on the phone. She had made it to San Francisco for her layover and had a moment to call me. Her voice sounded happy, excited, and it brought joy to me to hear. Again I felt a little wetness in my eyes, a manifestation of joy and missing her. I don’t really understand why I was having such a reaction. I’ve left loved one behind while I’ve made trips and flights many times before. Why was I feeling this? The only clear emotion that I could discern was simply missing her. In three and a half weeks of seeing each other we’ve slept apart only once or twice (but I can’t remember number 2). My bed is going to feel empty. Her presence is like a cool breeze. I’ve yet to feel the need to get away from her for some solitude, which is odd because I’ve always had a need to go off by myself and have come to believe myself to be a hermit.
I don’t claim to understand waht is going on, what I am feeling. But when I am with her I feel happy and I enjoy her in her beauty, in her everyday plain-ness, and in her moments when she is not flattering (in her opinion… though I still find her beautiful).
I got home and had crashed for 30 minutes when 2 friends I had not seen in weeks stopped by. Groggily I got up and let them take me to their new apartment to show me around. Then they brought me home and I grabbed another hour of sleep. Now I am at work, trying to DJ with an upbeat attitude with scant sleep. But I’ll live. I have to be at the bar early tomorrow because it is inventory/order day. Friday I should pick up my new (used) vehicle… an 86 Isuzu Trooper. Then Sunday at 5:00 am I am to pick up Eliza at the Portland airport. I cannot wait to feel my hands on her, my lips on hers, and see her smile and beautiful eyes.
I am quite smitten with this amazing woman.