update before bed

Almost time for bed. Yet before I retire to the land of dreams, a quick update.

Sunday and nothing much happened. It rained and was cold and I took Eliza to a couple stores so that she could get some warm clothing. The first one she wanted some time to look around for herself without feeling the pressure of my waiting for her, so she bid me to leave for an hour. I was happy to do so… Borders was just down the street and I could hear it beckoning to me.

Inside of Borders I noted an Anne Rice book. I’ve not read one of her books in ages. After reading Taltos, Servant of the Bones, Memnoch, and Pandora, I found that I could not get through her latest offerings. Yet the one that awaited me told of Lestat’s return, his battle to be good, of the Mayfairs, particularly Rowan and her husband (see book 2), Taltos and and lots of other characters… all come together in a book! I wanted to read it, yet I’ve not read a couple of the latest ones and knew that I should really read them before I did so. I also recall handing over a stack of hardbound Anne Rice books to a friend in Houston so that she might read them. I never got them back.

I moved along the store, stopping by the cafe for a mochaberry (raspberry and mocha) which was better than I expected it to be (I like to try different coffee drinks). I soon found myself in the fantasy section and there it was… the hardcover release of the latest R.A. Salvatore book. I think the title was A Hunter Alone, or something like that. Ohhh… I held the book in my hand, knowing that it was book two of the hunter blade trilogy. Knowing also that it promised, at the most, three days of reading material (including time for work and sleep). But the price tag was a bit steep for me. I wanted to buy Eliza dinner at Baja Fresh and besides, I am nearly finished with book three of Salvatore’s five book Cleric Quintet set. I’ll get this book in due time. In the meanwhile I got the Cleric Quintet all in one volume (because I still have to buy the last two books anyway) and it was cheaper than the new book I wanted so badly. I read my book in the cafe until Eliza called me and I went to pick her up.

We finished the night shopping, eating, and hanging out at home. She had to get up early so she went to sleep beore I did. I awoke with her the next day, made her coffee and a sandwhich and drove her to her appointment. After her day we pretty much did nothing but hang around the apartment.

We had a fight tonight, but it was a good fight. There are fights that people have when they use weapons to wound the other person. This one, between the two of us, did not feel like either of us were trying to wound the other. We were simply both tired and frustrated and unsure… and novices alike in such a lasting relationship. In my own frustration and anger I left the apartment, cursing my own stupidity and lack of insight with each step out of the door. I wasn’t to the truck yet when I wanted to turn back and go to her. Things were a bit heated though (I did say that it was a fight) and I figured that we needed some time and space in the immediate moment to let our emotions cool. I went to a coffee shop and drank decaf (yes… decaf… I wanted to sleep soon) and read from my book. I was heavy in thought on Eliza and I sent her a text message telling her that I was a putz. That isn’t how I worded it, but she got the message. In the book I was reading the two principle characters were likewise figuring out their own emotions about each other at the same time they were trying to figure out their place in the great wide world. I could relate, and I felt that Eliza could relate (if she were reading the book) to the characters as well. After a while, she called me and asked me to come home. I was ready to.

At home we were all hugs and kisses. I could only lay in her arms, silently berating myself for being human, for having weaknesses and fears and not being able to transcend my emotions with my mind. But she just held me and I held her and we told each other that the other was right, that we might learn from the other. What better spot is there to be in than this?

It is November and I am ready to crank up the ol’ NANOWRIMO again. I made it to 20,000 words last time, starting half way through the month. Although at the time I don’t think I had the time demands that I do now. It will be a real test to see what I can do. I read an interview with Salvatore on the Wizards of the Coast website where he said that he subscribe to the school of writing that says characters are more important than plot. I think of my favorite books and it seems that they all seem to follow the same formula. In some of them I even forget the plot. Yet my favorite characters from books live on. The quest, a plot, is inherent within the character of the knight. Tell of a knight and you’ve told of a quest.

Now it is getting late and I am going to go crawl my tired form into the warm bed beside sleepling Eliza. I am happy to know her. God she frustrates me at times… but the frustration is my own… that I cannot pluck that which is hurtful to her from her… that I must stand by and let her fall on her own. It is sometimes hard for Don Quixote to watch his Dulcinea fall. Yet if she is to be her self, to fully command my heart and her life… then she must drink deeply the bitterness of failure from her own hands. If she then overcomes them all, she will be all the better person because of it and I will have the most beautiful jewel on the planet as my love.

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