Before coffee

The day is odd in its lighting. It is overcast enough to be a darkly grey day… yet there are enough breaks in the sky to allow light in. The effect is akin to walking out of a dark bedroom and into the kitchen with its obscene fluorescent light.

But this is before coffee. It is brewing.

I have added a few words to my NANOWRIMO yet I was too drained yesterday to do so. Two hours sleep and last night when I went to bed I do not remember lying down. Eliza said that I was out completely, didn’t wake up when she came to bed. I was really tired. The reason that I got up early yesterday is because it was Sunday and I wanted to go to church. Yesterday was also the ceremony when the new members are recognized in front of the congregation (and I got a posie in a pot). I had also asked Eliza if she would go with me as well. I wasn’t trying to convert her to Unitarian Universalism, but I’d like for her to be with me when I joined.

9:30 and the alarm went off and I got up and staggered around, getting my bearings, standing in the center of the room and seriously contemplating going back to bed (went to sleep at near 7). Church started at 11. Which means that there was not enough time for Eliza to get up and get ready. She was sick all day and night before. I told her the night before to not worry about going with me, to stay home and sleep. To my surprise (and delight), she gets up with me, jumps in the shower after me, and is ready in 22 minutes. A new world record! (grin). She didn’t put on any makeup (doesn’t need any to be beautiful) and we went to church together.

It was nice for me to look across the congregation to see her smiling face at me. Her smile went from ear to ear. Later, after the small ceremony and we could sit together, it felt… odd… in a pleasant way, to stand next to her with my arm around her and sing out of the song book together. No… she can’t sing… but if she were to diminish her voice it would be a tragedy. SING! SING! SING! It is a church of humanists… and singing is singing with joy… not hitting the right notes (I miss a lot as well… most church music is not written in my key).

Later, when I introduced her to the minister, I introduced her as my support, inspiration, and sometimes a great frustration. Carolyn (the minister) laughed and said “GOOD”. It went well with the topic of the service, “the dance”. When you are in a relationship, you are in a dance, and you have to love without fear of being loved, not hold too tightly, trusting in the other person, as you both make wrong and right moves in the dance… and after a lifetime of practice you learn to truly dance together.

After church we had time to go home quickly as I grabbed my large US flag and Marine cover (camo hat) and went out to stand on the parade route. Eliza enjoyed the parade as well. She was like a little girl when they passed out small American flags. Sometimes she is like a woman… and sometimes she is like a girl. I think that she matches me well… for sometimes I am like a boy.

Today we got up and I made her oatmeal. She called me from the bedroom, sleepy-eyed, and asks me to mak her oatmeal. I grinned and told her that I was making that very thing. I brewed some coffee for her and then took her to road crew. She’s got nine more days. I am undeniably proud of her. She looks so much healthier, she is filled with so much life, her natural spirit is coming out more and more. My what a remarkable woman she is. She is starting to say things now and then, giving hints of her goals and dreams. It isn’t that she’s not done it before… but the spirit behind her words now seem more optimistic. She tells me that I am wonderful and am great… but she is the one who is showing me.

Now my coffee is finished brewing (Starbucks French Roast in a French Press). Enigma is playing on the stereo. It might take a little for this one to grow on me… their third and fourth ones are my favorites… unless it is a dark night with wine… then definitely the first one… much more sensual to make out to.

I’ve also got a CD of remixed Lords of Acid songs, including a cover (hidden track 17) of Moulin Rouge. I played the “Spank My Booty, Whipped Cream and Paddles Mix” in the club the other day and it was a hit. Naughty… very naughty.

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