I can’t sleep and so I am going over past journal entries and adding tags to them. This one, from 1999, has a line in it that I liked.
There are times when I see God in the most mundane of things, in the oddest people, and I am so thankful. I ask to open up more. I’ve never been able to fully express the feeling until I saw the movie “American Beauty” where a character says at the end “I see so much beauty in the world that I can’t hold it… it crushes me heart, until I breathe and then it runs through me.”
For the first time in my life it is easy to understand why Christ must have willingly suffered on the cross in Christian teachings. As I write this I wonder to myself… I would die to give peace to the world… and what I hear is the soft voice of the Goddess. She doesn’t talk to me often, but she chooses her moments. She is telling me that I don’t need to die to save the world… but I need to live for it.
She has a wonderful way with words. And I ask her… what do I do? How can I make a change? I haven’t money, I can’t seem to discipline myself to do what is necessary for my own life. How can I affect change? She simply says… you will.
I am still left with this immense feeling that I have a greater good to do, and that I have no idea what it may mean.
That is good stuff. I get so caught up in life… it slips by me and I give myself pause to consider that I am missing moments of existence, blessed, beautiful existence.