Going to work today was interesting. Nobody saw me break down, save my new friend and another coworker. But everyone else saw me acting goofy… and some of the guys saw me sizing up males in the bar. I had spoken to a few of them about some of the other males giving me the eye. I was in a mood to fight last night. I wasn’t malicious in that I felt anger… it is just that I was wanting to fight and feel hits and hitting and being hit. I was going to take on two guys but I lost track of them. I asked one of my coworkers if he’d like to go out in the parking lot with me and rumble a little for fun. Nobody took me up on it. Before too long, however, I was too drunk to walk much and it is a good thing I didn’t get in a fight. Drunks are easy to beat up, at least they are for me, if you are balanced and centered in your own fighting. It isn’t that I was a mean drunk last night… it was that I wanted some physical pain and giving pain out… fighting… and was looking for anyone to give/get with. I didn’t start any fights, but I was ready for anyone who was feeling froggy as well.
I’m gonna have to work on this. I don’t like it.