So far I my experiences are proving useful for me. Again, I’ve had opportunities over the past week to redress some things. Yet part of me continues to stay in this limbo where I am at. It could very well be that I am using this as a rationalization for my stubborn pride. However, I am not the smartest person on the school bus. I cannot rattle off a dozen theories or formations of the mind or principles of thought. Yet, on occasion, I do well in working with other people. I’ve been blessed/honored to be in the presence of people who, while dealing with their emotional/physical ordeals, have found it possible to open up to me. Love is a central component of any healing therapy and it is easier to love others when you share something.
On another side, back to my not being the smartest, the world of theory out there is truly vast and one could easily get sidetracked on various trails of thought. It is as though you are in a canoe on a wide open lake. My experiences lend emotional signposts to my navigating. While I read various studies on anger, depression, substance abuse, cognition, PTSD, sexual trauma, combat experience, happiness, resiliency, etc… my emotional experiences keep me on track, or they pull me to other areas.
I am grateful for my experience. Others might lament it, and to be honest the stress does poke its head up from time to time. Yet for it to be valuable for me in the manner I just described, the stress must be present. If it doesn’t show itself then I can learn nothing, I am given no greater insight into the plight of veterans, my future work/research/writing/whatever in this field is hampered and the greater good that I so wish to do will be stunted.
Let it rain, let it pour, let the vengeful fates pull their hair and shriek. Were it only about myself I might not have the strength… for I am not a strong person. Yet when it comes to others I have great reserves within me as yet untapped.