Open up to the knife

I got a new tarot deck a couple of weeks ago. It was used. But I liked the whimsy nature of the cards, and so I got them anyway. At home, I put them order, looked at each card’s artwork, and let them sit for a while. Saturday I took a reading. I used a […]

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Blinded, but seeing

From the Havamal: Billings mey ek fann beðjum á sólhvíta sofa jarls ynði þótti mér ekki vera nema við þat lík at lifa Translation– I found Billing’s daughter asleep on her bed and I was captivated by her beauty and all the wealths of Jarldom seemed like nothing to me if I had to live without […]

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Blind

I’ve been bothered by things the past few months. Wait… why am I writing this? Doesn’t this make me a special narcissist? My ex called me that all the time. Especially when I tried to tell how I felt. I quit trying to express my feelings. Then again, I remember an early phone conversation with […]

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Trust

Veterans love dogs. I’ve worked with a lot of veterans over the years and they can be slow to trust. Especially the ones working through some issues. They are quiet. Don’t talk to others. Don’t share their feelings well. Don’t relate well. Unless you put a dog in the room. Then it’s game on. Dogs […]

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Wolf Dream

It was a couple of nights ago, perhaps a week. But I had a dream early in the morning where I went into a deep forest. It was twilight, not fully night or day. I’m uncertain if it was dawn, or dusk, or perhaps actually midday and the depth of the wood made it dark, […]

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Always Ready. Always There.

When I was an active duty Marine in the early nineties, I would look down upon the reserves. They weren’t real military. They were weekend warriors. They were nasty civilians that couldn’t hack the military and every once in a while they put on BDU’s and pretend to be soldiers. A year after I left […]

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why

Tonight I fell, again, into depression. It has been happening a lot lately. This year has been rough. This afternoon I laid on my couch for I don’t know how long. Minutes? Hours? The tv was off. The lights were dim. And I stared into space. I am without energy. I have wondered, all night, […]

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Who Dares, Wins

Today was a day. I’ve tried keeping a friendship with my ex. I’ve sent a few articles for her perusal. Today I sent an article about the story of Freya and the Brisingamen necklace. Part of me is bothered by Freya allowing herself to be touched, abused, by the dwarfs. I know there are deeper […]

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Fate

I’m on a plane and we are landing in Portland soon. We’ve started to descend from the calmer layer of air and through slightly rougher air. I’m listening to music and feeling the movement of the plane underneath me. I’m struck with the notion of acceleration and how a body in rest or motion will […]

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sometimes

Almost ten years ago, damn… has it been that long… my therapist told me that that I was ‘good being alone’. I smiled. She was right. I am good at being alone. I’ve learned to like myself, for the most part, and I have many interests that catch my attention and time. I find joy […]

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