Niflheim

I went on a hike a few weeks ago. It was a bright, crisp day, and the colors of Spring were vibrant. I felt energized just by being outside in the forest. The trails, cutting through the trees, were clear and contrasted with the surrounding rushes and grasses. While I was free to go in […]

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Blinded, but seeing

From the Havamal: Billings mey ek fann beðjum á sólhvíta sofa jarls ynði þótti mér ekki vera nema við þat lík at lifa Translation– I found Billing’s daughter asleep on her bed and I was captivated by her beauty and all the wealths of Jarldom seemed like nothing to me if I had to live without […]

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Trust

Veterans love dogs. I’ve worked with a lot of veterans over the years and they can be slow to trust. Especially the ones working through some issues. They are quiet. Don’t talk to others. Don’t share their feelings well. Don’t relate well. Unless you put a dog in the room. Then it’s game on. Dogs […]

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why

Tonight I fell, again, into depression. It has been happening a lot lately. This year has been rough. This afternoon I laid on my couch for I don’t know how long. Minutes? Hours? The tv was off. The lights were dim. And I stared into space. I am without energy. I have wondered, all night, […]

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Who Dares, Wins

Today was a day. I’ve tried keeping a friendship with my ex. I’ve sent a few articles for her perusal. Today I sent an article about the story of Freya and the Brisingamen necklace. Part of me is bothered by Freya allowing herself to be touched, abused, by the dwarfs. I know there are deeper […]

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Fate

I’m on a plane and we are landing in Portland soon. We’ve started to descend from the calmer layer of air and through slightly rougher air. I’m listening to music and feeling the movement of the plane underneath me. I’m struck with the notion of acceleration and how a body in rest or motion will […]

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she’s gone

Have you ever walked down stairs? For people in good health and mobility, stairs are easy. We walk up and down them all the time. No problem. You only become aware of how much work goes into them when you are recovering from an illness, have an injury, or perhaps finished an intense session of […]

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Into the woods

I drove to a state forest that I frequent. I needed to think. It had been an emotional weekend for me, some ups and downs, and the night before had been particularly long as I drove back to Oregon. We had broken up and then mended back together. It was my fault. I had been […]

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Cowardice

I’ve been lying on the couch, weeping my guts out. I am torn into pieces. Images of my life has been moving past my eyes and I’ve felt I’ve done nothing. I hurt. I curl into a ball from the blows. I cry. I get up and walk to my bag, pull out the .357 […]

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