Turn

A four day weekend. Everything in the state is on fire. The valley is filled with smoke. You can stare at the sun and see what looks like a orange. According to several of the tv shows I’ve been binging on, this is when the vampires rise up and take over. No worries here. I’m […]

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Blinded, but seeing

From the Havamal: Billings mey ek fann beðjum á sólhvíta sofa jarls ynði þótti mér ekki vera nema við þat lík at lifa Translation– I found Billing’s daughter asleep on her bed and I was captivated by her beauty and all the wealths of Jarldom seemed like nothing to me if I had to live without […]

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It is okay

I hear a couple of you struggle with jealousy and view it as proof that you are inferior or not as developed as the enlightened. I wanted to say, with respect to everyone in the room, that you are not underdeveloped. You are feeling jealousy for different reasons, each of your heart’s are telling you something important, something you need. Instead of viewing your jealousy as something with distaste, honor it, cherish it, welcome it into your dialogue with yourself and with your partner. What does it say? Jealousy is often called an immature emotion coming from someone with a poor sense of self-esteem. What if jealousy was something else, something protective, that was always looking out for your deepest wants? What are those wants? Only in honoring jealousy can we fully enter into that discussion and free ourselves to experience what we truly need. It is here that we become ourselves and not mirrors of our fears. It is here that we learn love.

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Traffic is my yoga (or Marcus Aurelius in a Mustang)

I might not have been ready for my car five years ago. But doing the work, meditating regularly, viewing difficulties as opportunities to develop my best self, realizing that I am not the center of the universe and that others have their own interests also, has helped prepare me for this car. Now I *can* drive my car, enjoying the experience, being energized by it, instead of the other way around.

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Open

I had Friday off. I did my 06:00 CrossFit workout, went home and made coffee, and goofed off on the computer a bit. I checked on projects, emails, calendars, and then made my way to WordPress. I have 20% of what I’ve journaled in my life on the computer. Prior to discovering Livejournal I filled up […]

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Dreams of fleas, fighting aliens, and Dexter (the usefulness of emotions)

Back to the alien battle. I now looked at the humans in the star fighters attacking the aliens. The aliens were supposedly advanced species from outer space without emotion. Why would humans have an advantage in logic vs logic thinking? Our tactics would likely be infantile to theirs. Randomness, I believe, doesn’t truly exist. Chaos theory shows order out of randomness while it also shows the limits of knowledge. Just because we continue to push the boundaries of the unknown does’t mean there aren’t rules outside the light of measurement, rules that influence actions within.

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Meaning in military deployment

Granted this is written in 2001, prior to so many things happening in psychology and military deployment. I am hopeful that I will be accepted into a graduate program where I can again obtain access to research articles and see what new developments have occurred. But in the meantime, what struck me the most in this article is the influence of Contextual Experience. “The results revealed that soldiers who reported little contextual experience reported fewer benefits of the deployment”.

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PTSD is NOT permanent

Look at the different criteria for a diagnosis of PTSD. Pick one that is without a doubt permanent without chance of healing? In criteria B, C, D, and E, perhaps “Recurrent, involuntary, and intrusive memories” is a candidate for permanence, yet I want to point out three thoughts with this. 1: intrusive memories and thoughts […]

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Negative emotions and moral assessment

if they assume the negative event to be unavoidable then they often feel as though they have no control and instead of feeling calm they feel helpless which engenders hopelessness which leads to depression and isolation. Ask veterans who are having a rough transition and who are also trying to gain needed benefits from the VA (of which is is quite common to have 18 months of waiting and unknown statuses) how they feel. Either the system is trying to screw them and they are very angry, or there is nothing they can do about it and they give up and feel helpless.

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