Because much of the time the expression of anger would be out of proportion to the situation. So many of the men would simply suppress the energy. Like holding onto an internal explosion. I remember telling my therapist that I often felt like a million pieces that wanted to fly apart, held together with old Scotch tape. This dichotomy of holding it in, or exploding out, creates a curious energy as the act of not doing anything adds to the fuel of anger in his thoughts. For the thoughts associated with the anger are often righteous in their tone. And it does not take much to be convinced that holding back isn’t worth it. In a battle of wills, righteousness will often win out over fear. In this heated internal world of thought I’ve injected Stoic thought into the mix.Read More Stoic Throat Punches
Running at night helps my mind not see the distant trees. I know I’m running 7 miles, so why does it matter about the trees in the distance and how long I’ve staring at them worrying about how slow I’m going? Thoughts, like gear, also can fit into the mission essential, useful, or stupid categories. If I am focusing only on the process, after having committed to the plan of running a 7 mile strip of land, then I don’t need to worry about anything else. Just run. And that is each step. Each step, running in the fog at night, is a chance to make that step a good one. CrossFit has the same approach with make each rep count. They don’t mean to make each rep a PR. But instead to make each rep as good of a technique as you can. CrossFit is about functional fitness, not lifting weights. Functional fitness is about living life well. If you scale workouts to where your level is so that each rep is something you do well, focus on form not result, process not product, then you’ll get stronger. The weights change, but the approach doesn’t. The distances of a run change, a 4 mile run used to be my long run, but the process doesn’t. Battles and wars change, but the soldiers don’t.Read More Running on Faith
Between eight and ten years ago I regularly went to therapy. I was struggling with two major forces at the time. The first was that my sense of normal, the horizon of my moral landscape, was still that of someone on a deployment. This is to say that in this context there is a survive […]Read More … or should I get a cup of coffee?
It is the weekend and my day is filled with books, coffee, and incense. I put on some good music and sat in front of my altar for a while. On my altar sit a variety of things. It is less a geometric space akin to a physical mandala as some altars are, but more […]Read More Going Down
While attending a week-long training at the library in Medford, Oregon and during a break I was standing in the window, observing the scene across the street. Across the street is a small Italian pizzeria and outside on the sidewalk were two people with a table set up and were offering some paraphernalia. I could […]Read More Walk in this world
And so I search for those things are are espresso for the mind, that are tools that help me let go of my frantic life of shoulds and expectations and instead live with mindfulness.Read More espresso for the mind