Going Down

It is the weekend and my day is filled with books, coffee, and incense. I put on some good music and sat in front of my altar for a while. On my altar sit a variety of things. It is less a geometric space akin to a physical mandala as some altars are, but more […]

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Losing my self   

I want to love. I want to have a love where I can share the totality of my being with another person and for them to see me, and I to see them. I want them to actively bring out the best within me, pushing me and angering me when necessary, but always loving me. I want to be the sort to do that in return.

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Dare. Risk. Dream.

“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?” The problem with quotes by philosophers is that much of […]

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Forgiveness

I have held a grudge against my biological mother for a long time. Wait, not a grudge… I’ve been indifferent to her. She didn’t hit me… no more than the typical spankings that most kids got in Arkansas in the 70’s and 80’s. I don’t have any harsh memories of her spankings. The last time […]

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Traffic is my yoga (or Marcus Aurelius in a Mustang)

I might not have been ready for my car five years ago. But doing the work, meditating regularly, viewing difficulties as opportunities to develop my best self, realizing that I am not the center of the universe and that others have their own interests also, has helped prepare me for this car. Now I *can* drive my car, enjoying the experience, being energized by it, instead of the other way around.

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Open

I had Friday off. I did my 06:00 CrossFit workout, went home and made coffee, and goofed off on the computer a bit. I checked on projects, emails, calendars, and then made my way to WordPress. I have 20% of what I’ve journaled in my life on the computer. Prior to discovering Livejournal I filled up […]

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Meaning in military deployment

Granted this is written in 2001, prior to so many things happening in psychology and military deployment. I am hopeful that I will be accepted into a graduate program where I can again obtain access to research articles and see what new developments have occurred. But in the meantime, what struck me the most in this article is the influence of Contextual Experience. “The results revealed that soldiers who reported little contextual experience reported fewer benefits of the deployment”.

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Is life fair?

Suppose something negative happens, such a flat tire or termites infest your house or whatever. It is just dumb bad luck that you got it, or if it is from another person, they are intentionally doing it to harm/hurt you. If it happens to other people, however, they get a flat tire because they waited too long to get new tires, or they weren’t doing preventative maintenance on their house, or they deserve the reprimand from someone.

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Walk in this world

While attending a week-long training at the library in Medford, Oregon and during a break I was standing in the window, observing the scene across the street. Across the street is a small Italian pizzeria and outside on the sidewalk were two people with a table set up and were offering some paraphernalia. I could […]

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