Between eight and ten years ago I regularly went to therapy. I was struggling with two major forces at the time. The first was that my sense of normal, the horizon of my moral landscape, was still that of someone on a deployment. This is to say that in this context there is a survive […]Read More … or should I get a cup of coffee?
Tonight I fell, again, into depression. It has been happening a lot lately. This year has been rough. This afternoon I laid on my couch for I don’t know how long. Minutes? Hours? The tv was off. The lights were dim. And I stared into space. I am without energy. I have wondered, all night, […]Read More why
I’ve been lying on the couch, weeping my guts out. I am torn into pieces. Images of my life has been moving past my eyes and I’ve felt I’ve done nothing. I hurt. I curl into a ball from the blows. I cry. I get up and walk to my bag, pull out the .357 […]Read More Cowardice
I am drinking coffee, listening to heavy metal and awaiting time to go to work. I have decided not to go back into the Marines. I listed earlier a brief reason why I considered. The pull is extraordinary, but when I went hiking a few days ago, I heard teh call of a raven on […]Read More The Call of the Raven
Almost Thirty Years Old Still haven’t got it right Have you? Why torment yourself further? Pull the trigger. Nobody cares, really, They are all as selfish as you Deep Inside Go ahead, do it Pull the Trigger Don’t think of the bullet through bone It will last only a second, Someone will find you and […]Read More Go Ahead… Pull the Trigger