sometimes

Almost ten years ago, damn… has it been that long… my therapist told me that that I was ‘good being alone’. I smiled. She was right. I am good at being alone. I’ve learned to like myself, for the most part, and I have many interests that catch my attention and time. I find joy […]

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Three runes

Where to begin? The interplay between actions, events, memories, present and future, past and present, between perceptions and memories, fears and logic. One cannot every think in pure reason in matters of personal dealings. Perhaps a sage, but who among us are sages? Even the great stoics often remarked that they were not sages, but […]

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she’s gone

Have you ever walked down stairs? For people in good health and mobility, stairs are easy. We walk up and down them all the time. No problem. You only become aware of how much work goes into them when you are recovering from an illness, have an injury, or perhaps finished an intense session of […]

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Cowardice

I’ve been lying on the couch, weeping my guts out. I am torn into pieces. Images of my life has been moving past my eyes and I’ve felt I’ve done nothing. I hurt. I curl into a ball from the blows. I cry. I get up and walk to my bag, pull out the .357 […]

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The Hermit

I do not want to write this. I am greatly embarrassed for doing so, knowing that I am going to put online. But since I have, for the time being, deactivated Facebook, it is unlikely that anyone would find it and read it. So why do it? Because I have the smallest bit of hope. […]

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The Stag

It’s been a long and eventful year. The last post, The Hanged Man, details what seems to be the ending of that year. But the message seemed clear… things sucked, but suck it up buttercup, endure it, and learn to see the gifts in the present situation. But truth be told, I was impatient in […]

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I regret having met her

If evil be spoken of you and it be true, correct yourself, if it be a lie, laugh at it. Epictetus I’m not wanting to make a lot of drama, nor try to tear down anyone. I would, however, like to express some things that are troubling me. I’m not sure how to go about […]

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Where to? What’s Next?

In Season 2, Episode 1, of History Channel’s amazing series Vikings, Rollo is shamed and plans to run away. He is packing his things for leaving when Siggy enters the room and talks to him, reminding him of what it is to be a viking. When I first watched that a couple of years ago, […]

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Losing my self   

I want to love. I want to have a love where I can share the totality of my being with another person and for them to see me, and I to see them. I want them to actively bring out the best within me, pushing me and angering me when necessary, but always loving me. I want to be the sort to do that in return.

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